My youngest son wanted to me to write about Fluffels: a cat-like creature of his creation. I don't think Fluffels have made it to the Marble Halls, the Jungle, the Deathless Faire, or the Silver Shore, but it's hard to be sure. And the network of strange worlds in the Stitched Realms, connected by ancient gates is so vast, that the Fluffels are probably out there somewhere.
To my best understanding, Fluffels are extra-round cats with large eyes and a long tail, possibly without legs, and often with elemental powers like Pokémon or Slime Rancher.
I thought it would fun for both of us to write stories about a Fluffel appearing through a gate and surprising someone who worries that its a monster. You'll get his story next week and mine the week after.
For this week, I phoned it in and asked ChatGPT to give me some deep thoughts (in the style of Jack Handy) about the Cthulhu mythos. Enjoy:
💡
I always wonder why cultists summon ancient, terrifying gods. I mean, what if they’re just grumpy because they woke up from a thousand-year nap?
💡
Sometimes, I think about my place in the vast, uncaring universe. Then I remember that if Nyarlathotep shows up, he probably won’t care either.
💡
When faced with the cosmic insignificance of human existence, I find comfort in knowing that even Cthulhu has bad dreams sometimes.
💡
If Yog-Sothoth is the key and the gate, does that mean he can unlock my car when I lose my keys?
💡
It’s nice to think that somewhere in the depths of space, an eldritch god is staring back at Earth, wondering what’s for lunch.
💡
The thing about summoning ancient gods is, you never know if they’re going to answer in the middle of dinner. It’s just rude.
💡
When I stare into the abyss, sometimes I wonder if the abyss is just checking its phone.
💡
If you gaze long enough into the madness of Cthulhu, maybe you’ll find out it’s just lonely and wants to play board games.
💡
I often wonder if cosmic horror really drives people insane or if it just feels that way because they can’t get Wi-Fi.
💡
When the cultists chant to awaken the Old Ones, I always imagine them finishing with, “...and please bring donuts.”
